The Years After
by volleyballbasketball
Summary: This is just a collection of some of my past little stories that I wanted to condense into one actual piece, mostly drabbles about Kensi and Deeks' domestic life.
1. Happy Anniversary

It had been a year since they had been married. A year to the day in fact. It was July 25, mid summer in California, and yet the brutal southern sun was still pale and weak as it tried desperately to warm the sands. Kensi was, as per usual on a Sunday morning, wrapped in Deeks' arms as they sat on their favorite rock and watched the surfers bob up and down as the swells passed under them. Each one crashed on the shore with a cadence that seemed to beat in rhythm with Deeks' own heart, his full and joyful heart that had been mended by the woman he held so close to him.

This Sunday was special, as it obviously marked their first anniversary, but Kensi smiled as she thought about just how special this Sunday would be. He traced circles on her thighs delicately with his finger, breathing in her scent. Sunshine and gunpowder. And that scent mixed with the salty ocean air was enough to make his heart burst with pure and natural joy, the type one can only feel when they have no fears or worries in the world, their demons are gone, and their souls are whole. But his complete bliss was brought down by a thought that had been weighing on his mind. He kissed the top of her head and sighed.

"What is it, Deeks?"

"What – what do you mean?"

"I know something's up. You always forget I can read you like a book, and I'm not even looking at you. So come on, out with it."

"Kens I – I think I want kids."

She turned to face him, but his arms stayed around her waist. Her eyebrow was raised, she was expecting an explanation of course.

"I'm not really sure how to explain it honestly. It's just when I pictured my future I always imagined kids in it. Maybe – maybe I just wanted to prove to myself that I can be better than my father, not that that's saying much, but I dunno. I guess I just had such a shitty childhood, that in some weird way I wanted to make up for it by giving my kid the best childhood ever."

Kensi ran her fingers affectionately through his beachy blonde hair and looked into his deep blue eyes. She saw hurt there, and maybe something that one might think was shame, and it quite literally shot pain through her heart.

"Deeks," she whispered, her words just audible above the rushing of the distant waves, "Deeks, I'm gonna tell you something okay?"

She looked determined, and her voice was strained with purpose.

"Marty Deeks you are the most amazing man I've ever met, and one of the many reasons I'm hopelessly in love with you is because you are so inexplicably good with kids. The reason you should want kids is not because you want to prove that you can be a better father than your was, but because every kid I've ever seen you with has been instantly happier. You just have this way with them, it's incredible, and it's something I wish I had."

He looked thoughtful, but not surprised, she always had a rather desperate tone when she tried to prove something to him, and he couldn't help but smile as her eyes searched him, filled with concern. He chuckled, glancing at the ground and then moved his gaze beyond her, to the vast ocean beyond. He sighed and continued to watch the surfers.

"It's stupid, really. Why are we even talking about this I mean, isn't this something normal couples talk about _before _the get married?

"Marty I think you know we aren't a normal couple."

"Whoa there, bringin' out the first name what's that about?"

She just smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. Of course they hadn't thought about it before they had gotten married, they were so completely and hopelessly in love that all they could see was each other, all they could think about was each other. Until now, Kensi knew it would have to change now.

"You really want kids don't you Deeks?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "yeah I do."

She looked him straight in the eyes, her arms were around his neck and she pulled him closer.

"Well that's good, because I'm pregnant."

She watched with amusement as her words registered. His eyes were the first to give away his bewilderment; they grew wide and gleamed with vivid excitement and utter shock. He stood up, gaping at her.

"Kens, are you serious right now?"

"Don't be stupid Deeks of course I'm serious. I'm about a month along now," she said matter-of-factly. In an instant he had swept her up into his arms and in his excitement lifted her into the air. She laughed and he brought her down into his embrace again, still twirling in circles as he grinned and kissed her passionately.

Finally he set her down but kept her in his grasp. She leaned into him, eliminating any possible space left between their bodies, as she nuzzled her head into his chest.

"I'm scared."

At first he thought he hadn't heard her right, as her words exposed such vulnerability that it seemed they didn't want to escape her lips. But they did, she had said it without even thinking, her heart had spoken where her pride would not. And it was the truth, she was horribly, completely, and insanely scared to be a mother. She knew she wasn't like Deeks, and she thanked God every day that she had him, because she knew he would be an amazing parent, but she had her doubts about herself. Could she be compassionate, understanding, act as a mother would? Of course, she was married to Deeks after all. But was she equipped to be an actual mother to a real child? She was not so sure.

"Kens," he said as he distanced himself from her just enough to get a proper look at her, "you will be the most amazing mother, and I don't want to hear another thing about it."

Kensi smiled and her heart warmed as she stared into his calming blue eyes, in that moment all doubt seemed to have evaporated, and she believed every word he said, she would be a great mother.


	2. Alexa Deeks

"She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, well, her mother is definitely in the running of course." He whispered in her ear while stroking the soft head of their new born child. Her velveteen skin was smooth as an angel's, and her eyes shone with the same brilliant and most honest blue as her father's. They stared up at her like two breathtaking mirrors, reflecting the love she saw as she took in her parent's faces. Already, tiny raven curls adorned her precious head; she would have dark hair like her mother. Deeks felt an overwhelming joy that seemed to make his heart burst with excitement. Never in his life had he been as happy as he was in this one moment, staring at the stunning little girl that looked up at him with his own eyes, and holding her mother, his beloved wife, in his arms.

"What's her name, Kens?" he said softly.

"Why am I the one picking?"

"You're the mom. Isn't that a mom thing?" She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling at the absolute ignorance of all things formal: her husband.

"Deeks, it's a parent thing. What were you thinking?"

"Nothing in my family that's for sure, I don't want any of their influence on her."

She sighed at the sadness Deeks had experienced, not that her childhood had been any fantasy either. She brushed his blonde locks with her fingertips affectionately, and then said,

"I've been thinking of a few, since we knew she was a girl and all."

"Wait, I've got the perfect name." He said this a little too seriously, so seriously that she knew it was not going to be serious at all. "Fern."

"Oh! How did I know?!" she burst out in false anger.

He laughed and then continued,

"Fine, fine, maybe not Fern."

She gave him a look and retorted definitely, "Absolutely not in a million years Fern."

He smiled and said in a mocking offended tone, "Fine, well what have you got, then?"

"I was thinking along the lines of Reagan or Hailey or Chloe. Nothing too girly though. What do you think?"

"Chloe's not girly?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"I think that when you hear it, you'll know." But it was not Deeks who had spoken these words of wisdom; it was a very happy Hetty who stood in the doorway.

"How does she do that?" whispered Deeks into Kensi's ear, she shushed him and turned to the little wise woman.

"What do you mean? Don't names take planning though? I mean this kids gonna live with this name for the rest of her life."

"A very valid point, Mrs. Deeks, but believe me, you will know." She turned to leave, but before she did she said in the most causal of ways, "Oh, and congratulations."

"Yeah… thanks?" responded Deeks, almost always confused by his boss's lessons, but always secretly grateful for them. It was then that a distant voice of a doctor somewhere down the hall called to some unseen nurse, that they heard it.

"Alexa! I need a new I.V. in room three eighty four! And hurry!" The moment they heard it she glanced up at him and his eyes lit up, and at the same time they both said, "Alexa". The name sounded sweet, and it left a smile on both their mouths.

"Hello, Alexa," breathed Deeks, "Alexa Blythe."

"Blythe?" asked Kensi, raising an eyebrow in suspiciously. "That is the ug –"

"She's got my eyes, she should have your name. Well, at least a little of it. Blye and Blythe are pretty close after all. And do you want me to really creep you out with my deep and intriguingly scholaristic side?"

"Scholaristic isn't a word."

"Good, Blythe means happiness. And Alexa means defender, so she's a defender of happiness. Our little girl." Kensi loved when Deeks surprised her with his softer and more knowledgeable side. She smiled.

"Alexa Blythe Deeks, it's beautiful."

"She's beautiful," he said softly.

Kensi just grinned and leaned back into her husband, he hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. Their little family sat in that room for the better part of three hours, simply bathing in the joy that was them, and their new life.


	3. Children

He stared at them. His family. His perfect, beautiful family. Kensi held their precious son in her arms. He was perfection. Both children were exact mixes of their parents, but in entirely different ways. While little Lexi, who was now plopped at her mother's feet, attempting to eat whatever food was in her chubby little hand, had inherited full and definite traits from both he and Kensi, their baby son had inherited mixed traits. His hair was a mix of Kensi's dark brown locks and Deeks' own flaxen hair, and it had come out to a perfect gold. His eyes too, reflected both of them, they had started out as his father's brilliant blue, but his mother's genes came through and left them half way between blue and brown, a stunning green that captured the hearts of everyone the little boy met. It was easy to see both parents represented in him. If one gazed at him in a certain way, they were sure they saw Kensi, but if you looked from another angle, it was apparent he looked like Deeks. The same was true for little Alexa, but one could easily point out the traits she shared with each of her parents.

For now, the little girl seemed annoyed that her new brother was getting all the attention, as she stuck out her tongue angrily at her father. She was just two, but she had an attitude that proceeded her years.

"Lulu!" she would scream and put her hand out towards her brother.

"Oh god, I hope that doesn't stick, he'll get beat up on the preschool playground if anyone hears that," said Deeks.

"Lucas." Kensi would say to her impatient daughter, "Lu-cas." But it was no use, it seemed until the girl could pronounce the poor baby's name, he was destined to be Lulu.

"You know, I see someone else in him too."

"What do you mean?" inquired Kensi. Deeks looked down at his son with intrigue, and responded,

"I don't know, I just see it. Sure he's like exactly fifty-fifty, but then he's not." Still looking confused he took his son and kissed him on the head. Then she saw it too, she spoke slowly,

"My father." Deeks raised his eyebrows in question, and continued to bounce the little bundle gently. Then he said soothingly,

"Well, it's a good thing. He does have his name after all. Don't ya little guy? Yeaahh you do." She smiled. She was glad that Deeks had wanted to give him her father's name. Lucas Donald. Nothing about the name Donald was particularly attractive to her, but it had been her father's name, and she treasured it.

"Indeed it is a beautiful noble name," said the voice of none other than Hetty Lange. She stood in the doorway that led to the porch on which the family was sitting.

"Wha – Hetty, how – how did you get in?" stuttered Deeks. But he caught himself as she gave him a look. "Right, stupid question. _Why _did you get in?"

"Well I thought that would be rather obvious, it has been three months and I still have not seen this little gentleman," she said, indicating the baby in Kensi's arms.

Kensi blushed.

"I'm sorry, Hetty, it's just - we've been so busy and – and Deeks was supposed to tell you to come over."

"Hey don't blame this on me –

Hetty held up a hand and the agents fell silent immediately: she had them well trained.

"As I was saying, I am here to see this newest addition to the Deeks household, and of course to check up on my agent's well being," she said, peering over her glasses at Kensi.

"I'm doing great, Hetty. Amazing actually. I think I'll be ready to come back in a few months or so. It's just, he's never gonna be this small again and…"

"Indeed, I understand, Mrs. Deeks. And may I see little Lucas Donald?"

"Of – of course," said Kensi quickly, holding out the little boy for Hetty to take. For some odd reason, she didn't look all too out of place with a child in her arms. She spoke to the bundle she held in her normal and most formal manner.

"The name Lucas, young one, your name, is derived from Lucius, which is a Latin name meaning light or illumination. Other forms include Luke, Lucio, Loukas, Lukas, and Luca. Lucas is the common form of many languages, most notably Gaelic or Hebrew. But across all languages the name meaning of light and purity does not change. Donald has various meanings, in Gaelic and Celtic, it means dark stranger, but in English and Scottish, it means world mighty or great chief, derived from the ancient name, Domnhall. So in essence you are a light yet dark mighty stranger. A mystery man." She finished. Kensi merely looked at her and shook her head in happy astoundment. It was going to be an interesting evening.


	4. Where's Mom?

"Dad, where's Mom?"

Alexa Deeks' brilliant blue eyes were wide with unease. She crossed her arms as she stared at her father, waiting for a response.

Deeks chuckled uncomfortably and continued doing some paperwork as he answered, not taking his eyes from the print that stretched across the pages.

"What do you mean, Lexi? She's on a business trip, in Japan. We told you like a week ago –"

"Don't bullshit me, Dad. I know you guys lie to us."

Deeks paused, unsure of how to handle the situation. He knew he couldn't give anything away, the price was too high.

"What – what do you mean, Lex?"

"You know what I mean."

Great, he thought, not much to go on. He needed to know how much she suspected, if he gave anything away that was unnecessary Kensi would kill him. They had agreed to let their kids think that Deeks was a paralegal at a law firm in the city and Kensi was a manager at a health care business. They had hoped the jobs sounded boring enough to kids that they wouldn't ask to many questions. Both jobs required some travel or odd hours, and so it was easy to cover up missions that could stretch for days on end. They had thought it would be safer, even easier that way. They soon discovered they were wrong. Lying to their own children was something that killed them, not to mention keeping up a charade in your own household for 14 years, trying to hide your life from your children, was somewhat exhausting. But Alexa was a child no more, and she was beginning to see through her parents' words. Had they gotten sloppy? Deeks thought. No, no they were always so careful, they never slipped up. So how did she know? What did she know?

"Honey, I can't say I do know what you mean. You're mom's in away doing work for her boss with some Japanese company, I don't know what on earth you think she's doing, but I promise you're wrong."

"Really, Dad? Do you promise?" she said, unconvinced. She stared coldly at him.

"Come on, Lex, what's this all about?"

Her blue gaze remained icy as she stared at her father. Her arms were still crossed as she spoke.

"I found two guns in your bathroom, what do a health care manager and a paralegal who likes surfing need guns for?"

His heart skipped a beat.

"What were you doing in our bathroom?" he asked sternly. They kept their guns in a very safe location, there was no way she would have just stumbled upon them.

She didn't answer his question.

"And after mom left there was only one gun left, why would she take it on a business trip to Japan? And I also found one in your guys' bed."

"What they hell were you looking in our bed for?" Kensi had insisted on having a gun in a compartment under their bed that no one would _ever _just stumble upon, it wasn't even distinguishable from the rest of the wooden bed frame. She had been looking for it, but what had made her do it?

"I didn't mean to be snooping," she began, yet there was no remorse in her voice, "The first time that is. But I knew you guys were lying about shit."

He had to subdue the smirk that even in this tension filled moment threatened to creep onto his lips; she was just like her mother, in every way. He didn't even have the heart to reprimand her for swearing. He couldn't help but ask what had tipped off his smart little girl, there was no use in denying it now, she'd never believe him, and he knew it.

"What did you see, Lex?"

"It was you're paperwork, actually, that first got me thinking…"

Oh shit, he thought, Kensi's gonna kill me. But he kept a calm face as he listened.

"I didn't mean to look into that either, it was just near the printer, I thought it was my homework. And I started to read it, you know, to find out if it was my essay. But a few words caught my eye, 'Edwards Murder Investigation: Case Status: Classified,' I wouldn't have thought twice about it, I mean paralegals have cases and murder trials and stuff, but I – I was interested in it. So I read it, and that's when I saw your name, and mom's name. You guys were assigned to the case, and it wasn't about health care. It said 'NCIS Agents Assigned: Special Agent Kensi Deeks, Partner: LAPD Liaison Martin Deeks,' that's how I knew. And then it all made sense; that one time I saw mom take down a guy who was trying to rob someone outside of Safeway, and that time I saw you at the crime scene near Laguna Beach with my friends and you said you were there because it was one of your firm's clients. But I did some research after I read your paperwork –"

He stopped her, not believing his ears.

"I'm sorry, you did some research?"

"Well yeah, and I found out that that case involved the death of Nathan Finch, an ex navy officer, not some businessman that was a client of yours."

Deeks just shook his head, he was sure this is exactly how Kensi had been as a young teenager: brilliant and infuriating. But he let her go on.

"And all your weird hours, and why you came home with broken ribs when I was seven and why you and mom sometimes come home with cuts or black eyes, that doesn't happen to paralegals and health care managers."

He wanted to cut in and assure her that his broken ribs had been from a bad surfing accident and the cuts and bruises were because they did fighting at the gym just as they had told her for years, but it was not use anymore.

"And yes, I noticed it more when I was younger, and its been happening less and less lately, but that only convinced me more. You guys aren't as young as you used to be –"

"Hey –"

"You know it's true, and so they're preparing you for the transition from field agent to some other rank, like head of a team or something, where you wouldn't have to do too much combat or anything."

Deeks was, if possible, even more stunned now.

"Alexa Blythe, how the hell do you know all this?"

She merely smiled smugly, that same expression that her mother wore so very often when she knew she had won. It was beautifully arrogant.

"I have my ways, Dad. And like I said, I've done my research. I've never questioned you guys, not until I saw your names on a murder investigation. And from there it was just so easy to find out all I needed to know about you. Oh and Uncle Sam and Uncle Callen, yeah I know about them too," she said complacently, as if it were all a game to her at this point.

Deeks could only goggle at his daughter.

"H – How – when – what?" he sputtered.

She grinned.

"Oh Daddy, I always knew Uncle Sam wasn't an architect. I mean really, you could've tried a little harder with that one. He cant even draw a smiley face and I know how bad he is with computers, and I asked him once about one of his projects, which he deflected. I mean honestly, Dad, an architect?"

"Hey, it was his idea okay?"

"A martial arts instructor or maybe an MMA fighter might've been a little more convincing, I mean he's an ex navy seal after all isn't he? And Uncle Callen? Though a pilot may have seemed foolproof, as he can obviously fly a plane, I put things together that I had brushed off as strange in my childhood, like when I heard him talking on the phone in our bathroom in some language that sounded like Russian."

"It was probably Chechen…" was all Deeks could manage to say, and even that was weak with bewilderment.

"Well, I've also heard him speak Spanish, German and Polish –"

"How do you know what Polish sounds like?" he said, distracted for a second. But after what this kid had already figured out with absolutely no suspicion from her parents was remarkable, it was evident this was no ordinary 14-year-old girl. Why couldn't she just have a fat crush on some member of a nice boy band like every other girl her age? Deeks thought desperately.

Again she just gave him a look as if to say, "You're still surprised?"

"What commercial pilot speaks so many languages? I mean sure, it was possible he just really like linguistics, but I didn't think so. Now you're other friends, well, lets just say I'm pretty sure their just surfers."

It appeared that she was done, and Deeks had no idea what to do. What could he do? What on earth could he possibly, conceivably do about this? He needed to call Kensi, and quick.

Without another word to his daughter he picked up the phone and called her, each ring seemed to take forever, but finally she picked up.

"What is it, Deeks?" she grumbled, sleepiness clinging to her voice. He had forgotten the time change, and after all, Iran was definitely more than a couple hours ahead.

"Kens, are you sure this is a secure line?"

Her voice immediately became concerned.

"Yes, I'm sure. Why Deeks, what's wrong?"

He sighed, not knowing really how to start. With a worried glance at his daughter, who was still standing in the doorway to the kitchen, he sighed and began to explain.

"She knows."

"What? Who knows? Who knows what, Deeks?"

"Lexi, she knows – about us I mean."

Silence. Then Kensi's voice came through the line, it was more stern than he had heard it be in quite some time.

"How?"

"She's a fucking genius that's how."

"Deeks! She better not be in the room right now with you swearing like that she's fourteen for heaven's sakes!"

"Believe me," he said, running a hand through his hair, still uncomfortable with how short it was these days, "she's no ordinary fourteen year old girl. She's like you, Kens, and right now that's not a good thing. She found out everything, she did research! I mean the only research I was doing at her age was –"

"Deeks," she stopped him.

"Oh, right, well, she knows, everything pretty much. And she wants to know where you are."

He heard her sigh.

"Give her the phone," Kensi instructed. Deeks did as he was told and handed the phone to his daughter.

"Mom?" she breathed.

"Yes, Lexi, you're very smart aren't you? Now listen I'm gonna talk to you about this when I get home okay? But for right now you need to listen to what Dad says and do not, under any circumstances, tell your brother about this. Lucas cannot know about this. Understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Good, now give the phone back to Dad. I love you, Alexa."

She did so grudgingly and murmured, "I love you too."

Thousands of miles away in a camp on the violent border of Iran and Iraq, Kensi Deeks smiled as she heard her daughter's words. Deeks was sure of it.

"So what do we do know?" asked Deeks once he had the phone back.

"Now, we ask Sam and Michelle what they did, they have experience with this stuff, and we make sure we're safe. First things first," she replied, "I have a big day tomorrow, new agents and stuff, I gotta get back to bed. I love you Deeks."

He grinned, even after all these years the sound of her voice still brought joy to his heart. Just the words "I love you," from her were like a blessing, and he paused before responding slowly and meaningfully.

"I love you too Kensi."

He hung up the phone and looked up at his daughter. To his astonishment, she was crying. Her tears glittered with a strange beauty as they streamed down her fair cheeks. Her clear blue eyes seemed to glow as she continued weeping, not knowing why. Her father took her in his arms and rocked her gently, assuring her everything was fine. She clung to him like a scared little child, and Deeks smiled in spite of himself, maybe she wasn't such an abnormal teenage girl after all.

"Mom's in a dangerous place, isn't she?" Alexa whispered into Deeks' chest. He sighed and decided he would lie to her no more, she was old enough now to know, she had the right to know that her parents put their lives in danger quite frequently, but it was worth the risk.

"Yes, Lex, yes she is. But since you seem to know so much about your Mom, I'm sure you know she can handle anything."

"Don't you worry?"

He breathed out deeply and shut his eyes tight. He would tell her the truth, his daughter deserved to know the truth. It was not the time to be the heroic and unwavering father figure he normally was.

"Yes, every day, ever hour, every minute. I'm always worried sick, I'm worried sick right now. But we can't show that can we, because that's not what Mom would want. When I go on solo duty, I don't want her worrying for me either, but I know she does. Its part of the job, sweetie, but it's a job we love."

Finally she broke apart from Deeks and sat down at the kitchen table where she began playing aimlessly with the tablecloth.

"I want to do it too."

At first he didn't understand what she meant. But as the words settled, he felt his stomach drop.

"You want to be an agent?" his voice filled with pride, disbelief, and extreme worry all in one.

She nodded her head but did not look up.

"My karate teacher says I'm the best in the class, he says I'm the best he's ever taught. When I went to summer camp in the mountains last year, I signed up for shooting lessons, and the instructor said I was the best he'd ever seen. I also did the nature survival, tracking, hunting, and self defense classes, and thanks to Mom I was the best in all of them by miles. I'd always wondered where she learned it all, I mean I know grandpa and everything but… Aren't I good enough, Dad? Could I be like you and Mom?"

He grinned with immense pride as he looked at his daughter; she was just like her mother, Kensi through and through. Though she would always be a daddy's girl, he knew her mother had taught her far more than he ever could about being an agent. Sure he could teach her how to surf or play sports, or even how to play guitar, and most importantly he could teach her how to love. But in the end, she had always been like Kensi, and for that he loved her even more.

"Yes, honey, you're more than good enough. I've always told you that you could be anything you wanted. But Lexi, you're just fourteen, you have all the time in the world to decide what you're gonna do. But between me and you, I'd bet money you'll end up a secret ninja assassin, or a bounty hunter or something."

He winked at her and she smiled, wiping the tears from her face impatiently, just as Kensi always did. She had no use for crying.

"Promise me one thing though, Lex?"

She nodded.

"Just don't tell you're mom it was me who slipped up, ya know with the paperwork and all."

She grinned as her father returned to his normal self, full of life and love and laughter.

"Now, Dad, why would I ever do that?" she said slyly, and with that she was gone.

"Wait," he said, processing the response, "Wait – Lexi – Lexi I'm serious!"


End file.
